You know, guys, I was remembering here.
In 2012, in the month of October, I believe that in October, after a stomach reduction surgery, I got complicated.
I had my second pulmonary embolism. Yes, second. I still remember her first moments, where I looked for air, oxygen, everywhere, and I couldn't find it.
It was my mistake. I thought I didn't need extra oxygen
I had the damn oxygen mask on my face and therefore I felt fine! And so, I took off my mask, got up, decided, to go to the bathroom.
Yes, the decision was delayed seconds after I stood up. The air ran out and, to improve, I couldn't find the mask.
When I saw it, it was in the hand of a bastard who, seeing me asking for it, withheld it.
I didn't know what to do, I didn't have the strength to take it, but he handed it over.
I had to think
Something in me said that "I couldn't miss the hand". That I needed to start breathing movements exactly, or I wouldn't have another chance.
And I waited. A few seconds, it's true. But to me, they sounded like eternity. Then, at the moment that I considered accurate, I put on the mask and breathed so deeply, I was surprised! I never, I don't remember, had ever taken so much air in one breath. And I held it. I did. … eight nine ten…. and let out all the air ...
I redid the movement, still standing ... the same surprise ... no, I knew, already, "that was that", and the count .... nine… ten… exhaled
Once again:… I exhaled and, when I began to inhale, I lay down, slowly and saw nothing more… for some time…
She didn't see panic, agitation, anything. Just the surprising calm.
Hours later I woke up on a stretcher, with a technician doing ultrasonic analysis on me and I asked him, straight away:
-"I will die"? And the damn kid answered me:
-"I think so"! and I think. No, it won't be this time. And I blacked out.
Externally. Inside me, the fight went on, I struggled through the air, searching for each oxygen molecule painfully, desperate with fear for the risk of obtaining enough of them for a few more minutes.
Because, friends, friends, that's what life is all about. An endless succession of miracles that somehow buy us some time, usually a few minutes, until the next miracle, the next negotiation, the next agreement.
No agreement? Danced!
Life is like this. And death too. It anguishes me to know that, in Manaus, oxygen was lacking and that, in sampa, Porto Alegre, Belo Horizonte, everywhere, the oxygen supply is in the hot seat. I already had two pulmonary embolisms, I know how it is and, seriously, who goes to the streets without a mask, thinking it is soft ”. Well, I wish you the best of luck.
Because, amici, I saw the face of death, and she was wearing a handkerchief over my mouth and nose.
Don't Think It Can Be Easy
If you don't know what that is, great! I hope you stay that way. But, if I have to cheer and choose between you, who selfishly goes to the streets, while people of your family stay at home, then, have the decency to make the right choices, at uncertain times… Because life is great, it is an inalienable good, but it deserves it more, in my humble understanding, whoever strives to preserve it, in front of any others!
Because, I reiterate, there is life with HIV.
But without oxygen, only the anaerobes in the underwater environment. But, well, that's another thing ...