There is life with HIV

Message of Hope for 2020 Pituca & Lobo Minha

Pituca & Lobo were distant friends, each of a different genre, although Pets, they taught me a lot, each in their own way, with my very different way of discerning at 23/24 and 38.

And, of course, with everything I have learned, almost every year, with the patience and wander of these two friends….

… Pituca & Lobo

A brief introduction. this text is original from the year two thousand in May, when I was in the final phase of "creating and assembling that, a kind of" Frankenstein ", which I was creating as the first palatable version, according to my ambiguous graphic concepts, that you You can see this picture.

I was at this time conducting the TEUTONIC CUFF as if I knew how to do otherwise) something called an “email mailing list” that, in short, was the social network of that time, just like ICQ then, was today's What's APP! 

ICQ who, by leaps and bounds, from losing his daily contact list and desperate afterward search, Mara and I always found a way to find each other again!

Maktub.

My proposal here is to tell two stories, each separated from each other for more than fifteen years, republishing a text from its first publication, some of us apart from "almost twenty years."

The ultimate goal of this proposal is outlined in my mind. Talk about my dog ​​and my dog!

But the road to her has not yet been traveled. The path goes through my rereading, some spelling corrections because, for the truth, in those times everything was so urgent for me, everything was so scary that I didn't care about the orthographic fidelity of the text; dear correction, I felt, it would have been some delay that would undermine the possibility of another message, even before I met the end, the terrifying end, the sad and anguishedly awaited end!

The “thing” in our lives was so frightening that Mara and I decided not to have a son or daughter, or children, because the risk of having brought a child with HIV, potentially an orphan, to the light.

We were wrong, maybe this child was a boy or girl today, that matters, and we were even happier, despite some tails here !!! Love things!

To love is to show living Pituca and wolf did it, in a different and complex way!

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  •       Claudius the Celerado

25 May 2000

I returned. In spite of everything I came back. Best?

Perhaps. Surviving (…)

A little financial scam and I went to ruin, no news This is not the first time and certainly and unfortunately it should not be the last time!

My life is a rebuilding of ruins.

What really upset me was my little dog Pituca.

It hurts.

 That little pile of hair just over two pounds, my little dog, is there in his little house.

Very sad, sad, overwhelmed, without courage, curled around you with an infinite and unknowable pain in your eyes.!

In his canine innocence, he does not understand why pain, the disease of suffering.

Until another day she was happy, jumping and barking all day, and early in the morning too, so that it was often difficult to bear without having to scold her.

Pituca, go to bed !!!

And she wasn't going. Today I spent hours calling her close to me and she wasn’t coming…

... In your eyes, I saw the plea. We are medicating it as possible.

But I fear for your luck, which I give to God, besides the veterinary.

I have a terrible emotional weakness for these little creatures who still pay the heavy taxes on their own evolution.

From the weakly fissile and apolitically destructive atom to spiritual luminosity it is a long journey… but I may be saying nonsense…. what I do know is that I love them as little creatures of God.

And that's what they are, in short, ONE MORE OF ALL Creatures of God, which takes me to another time, with a difficult decision! The first difficult decision for me between the dog and Cachorrão was tough! I… I won't go ahead!

(1985/1986) The Dogman!

But Pituca, so ill, brought me the memory of an old companion, who for lack of creativity I named the Wolf. My big big dog!

The bandit was a good size. 

It ate like a dredge was big enough to scare people!

And, to my laughter and regret, he was very pleased to see them running! 😂😂😂

Laughs, never caught them. 😂😂😂…

He ran the bastard, always with the purpose of frightening, not catching.

It was a good friend. And a great sarrista. 

And the world is not affable with big creatures, scoundrels and sarrists!

In those days, the goofy here was still a DJ who went through the early hours of Sao Paulo night earning little and only came home after the first rays of the sun was he, Wolf, who welcomed me.

I went up the street in a pre-comatose state towards the house

 Remember Dino from Bedrock? 

I jumped the wall and ran the whole street, about 500 meters until it came near me, and lick me, bite me like someone who asks affection, attention affection and said:

Welcome, let's laugh! I run after some girls, they run away and you laugh, you Goofy! Mara laughed a lot here! Don't go to sleep now.

But I was in a pre-comatose state and I missed a lot of his bitch!

His color was these dog colors that are not defined in words, because “yellow is a killer”! This was the first marketing message for Gold retrivers (...).

Wolf was quite strong.

And this bad habit of chasing people was problematic, I was never able to clarify it about that. And I was never able to beat him on the high jump issue.

The bastard always found a way to break free from the night collar, or else Teresa didn't, perhaps on purpose!

And that stubbornness cost her her life. Someone with a rock-hard heart had the courage to poison him.

Ah! If I had died soon! 

But no, he was strong and wanted so badly to live. 

That's why he fought a brave man! After all, it was my dog!

Day after day the vet and I did what science could do. 

Pounds of aminophylline and other drugs to relieve his breathing difficulty. 

The vet explained to me that the poison had caused a heart attack. And after that, the heart attack caused a fluid spill into the poor man's lungs, a plural stroke, which I eventually suffered on 21/12/2005, an episode of my first (...) pulmonary embolism !. 

There is life

Panting, every day, he no longer fed and suffered, every day. twenty-eight days later godliness succeeded days and godliness eventually overcame my selfishness and convinced my conscience that nothing, really nothing, could be done beyond that point that would generate life without suffering that creature could not. understand the why of all this and I told him to be sacrificed.

These were hard times, and I was not exactly a well-known DJ, and when I was known, I was badly quoted by the tents set up by Teresa, nightclub door after nightclub door, read lost job after lost job and my yields were poor!

Trite Faith Retro

In order not to make him walk I took him in a trolley 😞 to the vet.

I know that you may also be crying, and thinking about stopping to read the text. Go ahead, I think it will be worth it for you! And if you don't, my tears 😢 here, now, will have been in vain 😭

Much thinner, I sad eyes, I handed it to the veterinarian. At this moment, it seems to me, he sensed what would happen and, perhaps a delusion of mine looked at me with a mixture of friendship, sadness that only dogs know how to do. It didn't last a minute. I didn't see him being sacrificed, and I wouldn't have endured it, it's true, I'm crying here, but the vet said he wouldn't have felt anything and, honestly, I prefer to believe it was so!

But I still carry the pain of not knowing if I acted correctly. 

I always think maybe, just maybe,, If I waited another day, I might have a surprise.

But I could not wait for this day and I will never know what it would have been if it had not been, for the future of God's past belongs to and it is no longer my business to question the past.

(2001)

Today, I have with me the tiny Pituca, a name that Elisangela) chose, with just over three pounds suffering from parvovirus. 

He begins to take a real aversion to viruses and their insane killing blood.

Parvo viruses, HIV, route-viruses, influenza, all… Only the “patso virusâ €!

I understand the need for their existence in the world, but the way they torture their host hosts makes me nauseous.

But, in addition to these, which are unconscious, there are those other viruses, very big, very lucid, that are capable of poisoning a dog….

They Pissy me off! Let me P ********

This human capacity to destroy, kill, deceive, corrupt, destroy, torture tires me.

We, as men, do this to animals and much worse to ourselves, men.

We poison our children with absurd concepts of separatism that make them grow up thinking thatâ € ¦

  • ... this sucks because it is so. 
  • That one is no good because it is baked.
  • And the other because it is so and baked. 
  • Or still, like this, 
  • or roasted, roasted ...

We poison our children and they then conquer the world by segregating ourselves; because we are already old and we no longer serve, because we are like that, old people, somewhat roasted and outdated.

And then we want to complain. Ingratitude, say parents and mothers.

Nonsense, I attest. And nothing is worse than chronic stupidity.

I got lost in context. I wanted to talk about Pituca, there, sick, crumpled, and I ended up doing a check to a distant friend and rebelling against ourselves with our vices of education. 

Delusions of the sick, I think, since the damn fever doesn't leave me with the ill-fated pneumonia plaguing me ...

Between Pituca, the Wolf and us, there are no excess differences if we take them as Creatures of God we all! 

The right to life is ours. 

God created the universe for us all.

No exception. It is us, with our selfishness, with our vanity, with our greed and our pride, making our lives unprecedented hells….

We differentiate everything from everything, for nothing. 

And, despite great campaigns of hypocrisy, we continue to differentiate the blue from the pumpkin color just because the blue is in the sky….

Is this right? 

I think not.

But what I think doesn't matter much, right? I'm just a carrier of HIV trying to get people after a lot of mess!….

And I ... I took Pituca to the vet and she explained to me in the case and told me it was fatal, as she would be hungry, she would eat and that would make her have violent intestinal and stomach cramps and bleed. According to the vet, it was a case of sacrifice.

No no and no! (Amy Winehouse)

I told her a resounding NO and asked if there was no solution and she said no. I insist and she explained to me that there was a small possibility.

Cut her food for a period of seven to ten days, but that was a great injustice to the animal that selfishness.

😡Egoism led me to kill one, I thought! 😡

I thanked him, went to the pharmacy. The time I served at CRTA-A on Antonio Carlos Street taught me a few things.

I came out with a packet of ten 1-liter saline tubes, it was overkill!

But I had a plan.

We arrived, me and Pituca, I put her in the most comfortable place I had to offer and not having to move her with each procedure, shaved the hair on the back and found the vein. It seemed like she knew what I was talking about and doing.

“Pitu… calm down, it will hurt, but it was for your good. It will hurt (cain…).

And I caught her vein for the first time. And I stood there holding the IV tube above it until it was over.

Halfway there, poor thing, she pissed all over. I looked through all that and there was no blood. Good Pitu! His kidneys are working and he and his urinary tract are looking good!

As if she knew what her kidneys would be…

She looked at me with a sad face, it definitely didn't cheer her up.

When the tube was running out, she pissed herself again!

Twelve hours later, the second vein footprint was also accurate. And again she urinated!

Her food had been cut off for 24 hours and she showed no signs of dehydration.

The moist eyes (tears) the mouth and the muzzle too. 

I sheltered her from the sun, of course and not to be too long, at home there was a mood of sadness a great silence.

But on the eighth day without eating she barked so hard we woke up.

He was cheerful, happy, bouncy. Her heels indicated the place of her ration

And scared, I gave her a little ball of food that was devoured in three thousandths of a second.

I waited 30 minutes without vomiting, I risked two, and so I went on, gradually increasing the amount of food every thirty minutes. “Ckeck pointing”.

I separated from Elisangela, my life had no future with her, but I did not carry pout with me.

(2019)

Pituca, my former in-laws, but still friends, said that she. who lived, until 2014, freaked out when asked:

Where is Claudio?

If you managed to get here with me you must have understood that many, many times, we have to sacrifice something for a greater good! And we can go wrong in the name of this quest. It's part of the learning process and, notice, you have every right to learn empirically there, with the razor in the flesh.

But it is also true that you can learn empirically based on the experience of many, or some.

I offer my experience.

From the third week of January I will have reactivated my contact via Whats App via the blog, and there are other ways to "well now"!

But this choice is not easy, and there will always be those who tell you:

Impossible!!!

Ignore them at the exact moment when deciding on the different path of the fight, because all along the path there will be what puts you in doubt and who puts in doubt what you are doing and even the smoothness of the process itself.

If you are sure of what you are doing, and nothing makes your conscience cloudy, play the F *- for them and move on.

Day after day, one step at a time, it goes on because, quoting Lao Tzu, I glue:

A journey of a thousand miles begins with one simple step!

And gluing to me I reaffirm

There is life with HIV.

As much as the sky is dark in 2020 and in the following years, try to remember these two stories that, in truth, form the backdrop for another one!

That of a person who was given six months, six months and, almost 25 years later, I am still here. I think it is quite possible, as I start to lose count, even a little over 25 years! What difference does it make if it was only six months?

Do not give up. Not yet!

Nothing like one day after another to redo even our opinions and even my texts! One day after the other, Marcia lived years like this, until she could no longer!

And I insist if you are newly diagnosed with HIV, please believe me and see the next link that you can be diagnosed with HIV and be happy!

I am! And this is mine testimony as seropositive!

I spoke to Pituca by phone about three times. 

She barked a lot when we spoke them.

The things we said to each other, you will never know! But, in order to console you, every now and then, we talked about Lobo, that I tell, and she told me that everything was “fine”! Ca for me, she could be hiding the gold by not saying:

 

- "Hey, it's me," The Wolf "! I'm a girl now! And trust me! This is quite amusing !!!

 

We still talk, our way. 😜

 


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